Bruined
Dear Pac-10 Officials,
As we at UCLA celebrate our latest Pac-10 Basketball Championship, I am writing to thank you in your assistance to the acquisition of this title as well as an almost guaranteed #1 seed in the upcoming NCAA Tournament. If there was any weekend to come through for us (not like you have not done so in the past!) It was definitely this past weekend against those pesky Bay Area schools. I cannot describe how happy it made all of UCLA nation to see Brook and Robin Lopez mercilessly hacked on virtually every possession, but only get to three free throw line twice in 45 minutes of play. In fact, I think that it is only fair that we got to the line three times more than Stanford did, as our guards (Josh Shipp and Russell Westbrook) clearly drew more fouls than the Lopez twins combined (Did I mention that we hit ten more free throws than Stanford? Good thing we won the game by ten points.) I have been so busy thanking you about the first 39 minutes of the game that I almost forgot to mention Lawrence Hill’s foul on Darren Collison, what a great call at such a crucial time in the game. It was ever so clear that Hill hit Darren with the body, clearly similar contact to the abuse that the Lopezes received over the course of the game. Not only does this call encourage careful defense in the waning seconds of a game, but it essentially tells defenders not to go for blocked shots when the offensive player has a clear path to the basket; brilliant!
The win against Stanford was absolutely what we needed to solidify a #1 seed in the NCAA Tournament, thus I did not expect any help against the ninth place Cal Bears, a team that we should easily defeat at home. Suffice it to say I was shocked at the Bears tremendous offensive efficiency and their exposure of coach Ben Howland’s supposedly impenetrable defense (on that note, Mr. Howland kindly asks for some assistance if facing USC in the Pac-10 Tournament, Tim Floyd has been too much trouble for him lately.) We were being outshot, outdefended and outplayed, but praise Wooden, you showed up to save us a second time. It must be true that all good things come in threes, because your UCLA goggles helped ignore three blatant violations. Josh Shipp’s downward swipe and Russell Westbrook’s yank of Ryan Anderson’s left arm were not clear at all, neither was the ball hitting off of Shipp’s fingertips out of bounds. I will tell you that it is certainly reassuring that you were properly positioned to make the correct call, that being UCLA ball. This call was so good that we’ve even got ex-UCLA coach Steve Lavin accusing you of some home officiating, he’s probably just bitter or something. I don’t have to write to remind you what happened next, Josh Shipp’s amazing “maybe over the backboard” shot, the fact that we got away with rushing the court with time still on the clock (a technical foul in almost all situations), or Josh Shipp’s punching of the ball into the stands (another technical foul), you just need to remember that we won 81-80 and will be remembered for our comeback ability. Our tenacity and ability to comeback needs a little help sometimes, right?
In conclusion, do not listen to the Pac-10 Head Official Bill McCabe, he does not know how you mean so much to us. I also would like to thank you personally, as if not for these victories, my job may be in question as well. These losses cover up my complete inability to hire a head football coach (who knew that even the search firms would fail me?), the fact that our basketball team was .500 in its major non-conference games, or the fact that we have not won the NCAA Tournament since Jim Harrick committed all forms of violations to put together a winning squad. Who knows, if you can work some games for us in the tournament (which I will choose carefully as a member of the selection committee) maybe our new football coach can make himself a couple extra bucks by betting on us to go all the way! Not like he’s had run into any trouble before.
See you at the Pac-10 Tournament!
Sincerely,
Daniel G. Guerrero
Director of Athletics
University of California-Los Angeles