Oklahoma: The schooner runs out of win(d) at the end … or … the surrey with the flop on top.
The Sooners are seemingly riding high. However, not everything is so well. Bob Stoops’ program has had four straight losses in the BCS. People are beginning to wonder: Can the Sooners win the big one? Stock tip: Sell: Oklahoma crude. Hold: Oklahoma Tornado Shelters, Inc. Buy: Anheuser-Busch (and get ready for a party!)
Texas: Your day will come — soon!
It’s not what you may think. The Longhorns have had a string of 10-win seasons. This year Bevo faces a meat grinder. They play Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, and Missouri. PETA may call for an investigation when this is over!
The Longhorns will get a look at Colorado’s hot new running back. Some believe he will be the newcomer of the year in the Big 12. His first stepping stone: Bevo … of course!
Look for the Horns to drop below the 10-win mark this year. Tech has circled that date on their home schedule! As a matter of fact, so has every team on the Longhorns’ schedule. They smell Bevo blood!
Will the Horns start calling for Mack’s head?
After 10 years of Mack, what do they have to show for it? A faded T-shirt and a 4-6 record against the Sooners! Stock tip: Sell: beef. Buy: Burger King.
Missouri: Waltzing across Texas … and everybody else.
Look out Texas University!
The toughest opponent the Tigers will face is not the Longhorns, but the Oklahoma Sooners for the Big 12 championship. Don’t look for the Sooners to walk over the Tigers, who return most of their offense and defense. Stock tip: Buy: Anheuser-Busch. Hold: Branson Properties. Sell: Beef, Oklahoma Crude.
Kansas: It’s not over until the Fat Man sings!
There is no indication that Coach Mark Mangino can carry a tune. He can coach football. That’s for sure! He’s just pocketed a fat $2.8 mil paycheck, and he’s looking to prove the sum was not bloated! Can Reesing spell Heisman? Stock tip: Buy Big & Tall Retail chain. Hold: Emerald City Condos. Sell: Beef and Crude.
Texas Tech: The bird of paradise? … or … a nerd bird with a pair of dice?
Mike Leach is gambling that his risky all or nothing program won’t roll snake eyes again this year. He just might do it, too. He’s circled the date the Raiders play the Longhorns. He feels he has something to prove! Last year, Leach proved that he can beat the Sooners, but that was at Lubbock.
If Leach turns up aces, he will probably fly away to a big-money program. Stock tip: Buy: Southwest Air. Hold: West Texas casinos. Sell: Lubbock preferred.